tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2531324919089791378.post7032194166316739992..comments2024-03-11T11:16:50.056-07:00Comments on Writing with Hope: Can You Hit a Perfect Pitch?Hope Robersonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16877380868985454894noreply@blogger.comBlogger22125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2531324919089791378.post-26592230974279874832016-03-28T00:58:04.932-07:002016-03-28T00:58:04.932-07:00I say many thanks to the father of the website adm...I say many thanks to the father of the website admin I read this, because at this website I know a lot of information information that I did not know before his<br /><br /><a href="http://goo.gl/4Qi58A" rel="nofollow">Obat Gout</a> <br /><a href="http://goo.gl/WOHjBv" rel="nofollow">Obat Kelenjar Adrenal</a> <br /><a href="http://goo.gl/snR86k" rel="nofollow">Obat iritasi Mata</a> <br /><a href="http://goo.gl/Tz7jsO" rel="nofollow">Obat Alergi</a> <br /><a href="http://goo.gl/OLct76" rel="nofollow">Menghilangkan Penyakit Gagal Jantung</a> <br /><a href="http://goo.gl/weUB1S" rel="nofollow">Obat Herbal Aritmia Jantung</a> <br /><a href="http://goo.gl/b1Il3Z" rel="nofollow">Tips Menghilangkan Batu Ginjal</a> <br /><a href="http://goo.gl/E3IXA1" rel="nofollow">Obat Kanker Usus Besar Herbal</a> <br /><a href="http://ow.ly/NaXQ9" rel="nofollow">Obat Kanker Paru Paru Kronis </a> <br /><a href="http://ow.ly/Nq00H" rel="nofollow">Obat Benjolan Di Belakang Telinga Tradisional</a> aisyahputrisetiawanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03192442695534733153noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2531324919089791378.post-77894366045884117782012-01-16T19:59:27.722-08:002012-01-16T19:59:27.722-08:00Thanks everyone for your comments, insights, and s...Thanks everyone for your comments, insights, and support! Good luck to those of you entering the contest :)Hope Robersonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16877380868985454894noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2531324919089791378.post-27757513103740139322012-01-16T12:55:09.381-08:002012-01-16T12:55:09.381-08:00The word "village" struck a cord with me...The word "village" struck a cord with me. Until then I didn't have a good feeling of the setting--now I do and that sounds very cool!Bethany Crandellhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08465408035247412662noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2531324919089791378.post-5796510895344349552012-01-16T11:42:47.725-08:002012-01-16T11:42:47.725-08:00I love the pitch and the opening. I would definiti...I love the pitch and the opening. I would definitively keep reading. The only thing that threw me off was that she wasn't in control of her body yet seemed very aware of it. I would explain why/how she isn't in control, although I am sure you do at some point just not the first 150 words.Sarahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10444784814793987285noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2531324919089791378.post-35425742044711582752012-01-16T11:10:56.658-08:002012-01-16T11:10:56.658-08:00WOW, I've read the beginning before but now th...WOW, I've read the beginning before but now that you add the pitch I totally want to know what happens even more!Jenny S. Morrishttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00482342313938669366noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2531324919089791378.post-87196077657274362442012-01-16T08:30:22.330-08:002012-01-16T08:30:22.330-08:00Hi!
Making the rounds and stopping by. I wante...Hi! <br /><br />Making the rounds and stopping by. I wanted to give you some feedback (hope that is okay!)<br /><br />I actually really liked the ending of the 150 words, it definitely has me intrigued to read more. But there were two sentences that kind of stood out to me:<br /><br />White-hot anger burned in my belly, if it was even anger churning there. I had never felt anger creep through my veins before. <br /><br />"Anger" is said three times here, but your MC says they've never felt the feeling before. Maybe if you changed it up. I would replace "it" to "that" in the first sentence to make it clearer that our MC is talking about the previously mentioned anger. It took me out, just for a second. I know how much I want mine to read perfectly :) So you can take it or leave it depending!<br /><br />Best of luck!<br />RachelR.A.Desiletshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08440729149601654745noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2531324919089791378.post-77838285855133133022012-01-16T08:30:10.282-08:002012-01-16T08:30:10.282-08:00Great pitch and logline!! Good luck!! :)Great pitch and logline!! Good luck!! :)Cortney Pearsonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00774060537148628453noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2531324919089791378.post-32305559831718955152012-01-16T05:53:37.223-08:002012-01-16T05:53:37.223-08:00Hi,
I'm wondering if "calling" shou...Hi,<br /><br />I'm wondering if "calling" should be made Proper, as it seems to be a recurring event for people. At least to me. She develops "the calling," not "a calling." So, there's that. While most writers think a pitch has to be one sentence, I tend to disagree. I would expand this a bit more. If she harnesses the Calling, what happens? If she doesn't, she is eaten. Poor girl. That's a good way to end. I'm just curious what she's fighting for.<br /><br />Also, if you're looking for another blogfest, stop by my blog on February 13th. I'd love to have you.<br /><br />Best,<br /><br />Justin<br /><a href="http://jwparente.blogspot.com/2012/01/hook-line-sinker-blogfest-sign-up-link.html" rel="nofollow">In My Write Mind</a>Justin W. Parentehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05951018201906897315noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2531324919089791378.post-76172605199085075772012-01-15T19:23:20.595-08:002012-01-15T19:23:20.595-08:00I love your intro. I know I read it in another con...I love your intro. I know I read it in another contest but it still gets me excited every time. Great tension and it leaves me wanting more. The voice is also fantastic.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03335427276116292574noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2531324919089791378.post-16170524882055126842012-01-15T17:48:50.244-08:002012-01-15T17:48:50.244-08:00I really like this concept and voice. I think the ...I really like this concept and voice. I think the pitch could be stronger. I don't know what it would change to, though. It doesn't sound urgent enough to me. I like that you're starting out with this event. Cheers!L.M. Millerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05834881688010514126noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2531324919089791378.post-37251137168350134032012-01-15T16:20:55.531-08:002012-01-15T16:20:55.531-08:00that sounds really interesting. I love it when a s...that sounds really interesting. I love it when a story opens up with an intense scene :) I wish my ms was complete so I could enter, but I'm just half way through. Good luck! I love writing contests. Fun, Fun.Amberhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00368485571268832781noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2531324919089791378.post-48047581154019497002012-01-15T12:41:32.461-08:002012-01-15T12:41:32.461-08:00I agree with these suggestions. I would definitely...I agree with these suggestions. I would definitely want to keep reading!Kendra Galehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11740605386406413685noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2531324919089791378.post-44497893895827862352012-01-15T12:00:59.308-08:002012-01-15T12:00:59.308-08:00Nice opening, Hope :) I think the pitch works well...Nice opening, Hope :) I think the pitch works well too, though I'd consider doing a little tinkering to the pitch to make it stronger. Something like:<br /><br />When Eri develops an internal link to the man-eating beasts plaguing the planet, she must learn how to control the Calling, fight the beasts, or she'll end up dead.<br /><br />Good luck!Stephanie Diazhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10606180983300679986noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2531324919089791378.post-56896257723814978752012-01-15T11:35:41.629-08:002012-01-15T11:35:41.629-08:00I realllly like this!!! I think the pitch itself c...I realllly like this!!! I think the pitch itself could be stronger. I would *delete* "the calling" and the emdashes... and I would *add* necessary after skills. Hope that helps.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07995267172282765794noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2531324919089791378.post-42146133965006617712012-01-15T10:41:28.752-08:002012-01-15T10:41:28.752-08:00I definitely would keep reading to find out what t...I definitely would keep reading to find out what the danger was. I agree with another comment that the pitch helped me understand a lot better.Sharon Baylisshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17361550815860670756noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2531324919089791378.post-59733150216616393692012-01-15T10:34:24.896-08:002012-01-15T10:34:24.896-08:00Going through withdrawals again, Hope. I think yo...Going through withdrawals again, Hope. I think you need to send me more chapters of this awesome story :)Cassie Maehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17706774393186819619noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2531324919089791378.post-59289704231632900342012-01-15T10:02:10.352-08:002012-01-15T10:02:10.352-08:00Hi Hope!
I really loved the intensity of emotion ...Hi Hope! <br />I really loved the intensity of emotion in this! Great set up for trouble to come! Good job!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2531324919089791378.post-23222544211950345322012-01-15T09:47:57.608-08:002012-01-15T09:47:57.608-08:00I love the way this ended. I am very intrigued. Go...I love the way this ended. I am very intrigued. Good luck in the contest.Tracey Josephhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16403588874051092286noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2531324919089791378.post-25406703271565405342012-01-15T09:23:42.707-08:002012-01-15T09:23:42.707-08:00Sounds interesting. I'd pick it up! As far as ...Sounds interesting. I'd pick it up! As far as the pitch itself goes, the way I read it, I would probably capitalize the Calling. It seems like a major thing that people would refer to with a "proper" name, know what I mean?MBeehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17325522661963443320noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2531324919089791378.post-54484631259787206532012-01-15T08:54:32.985-08:002012-01-15T08:54:32.985-08:00Ah! I LOVE your story! :)Ah! I LOVE your story! :)Kelley Lynnhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06373650788799372118noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2531324919089791378.post-3375504111274449812012-01-15T07:06:51.599-08:002012-01-15T07:06:51.599-08:00I really loved your pitch! But I agree with Anne--...I really loved your pitch! But I agree with Anne--if I hadn't read the pitch first, I would've been confused about why she was reacting the way she did. I'm not sure I want to wait to find out what's causing the danger.Francesca Zappiahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16876692064254806825noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2531324919089791378.post-9342215365636417932012-01-15T05:57:39.746-08:002012-01-15T05:57:39.746-08:00Great work, Hope:) My only suggestion would be to ...Great work, Hope:) My only suggestion would be to tell us why no one can go alone to the river - I get there's some kind of monster there, but I want to know why she feels danger before she shows us her reaction to it, just so I can feel it, too.Anne Michaudhttp://annecmichaud.wordpress.comnoreply@blogger.com