Cassie at Reading Writing and Lovin' it and Angie over at Live to write…edit when necessary. are hosting this awesome blogfest, check 'em out :)
Today: Emotion Flash Fiction: Emotion is the engine of the story. Pick an emotion and in a flash fiction piece of 250 words MAKE us feel it!
Uncontrollable
Space in my lungs folding, folding, folding with every breath. My heart pounds against its cage of ribs, trying to break free. Thoughts tornado through my head and I reach up to steady myself, squeezing my eyes shut against the confusion inside. I suck in a shallow breath, almost tasting the crisp grass beneath my feet. My feet are moving.
Why are my feet moving?
Why are my feet moving?
My eyes search for a sign telling me to stop. But the charcoal sky and inky river only invite me forward. Emotions tumble and collide like the rapids crashing against rock before a flood of anger settles over my world, muffling sound, wrapping me in rage.
What is happening?
From the twilight behind me, a gong sings out across the village. I know it’s the warning bell, but knowing doesn’t touch this. The darkness before me begs my body’s acceptance. Something within me seeks what lurks among the black shadows.
A surge of adrenaline rushes through my ears. The blood tsunami in my veins propels my legs faster, crashing through the forbidden, intent on ruining me.
My brain searches for one sane thought, something to stop my muscles from carrying me out there.
Suicide. This is suicide.
Suicide. This is suicide.
Fury erupts through my core and I’m sprinting toward death.
Ohh, this is my favourite of the day so far! This is SO beautifully written, and I have great admiration for people who can write with such fluidity. Awesome!
ReplyDeleteanxiety! what a rush!
ReplyDeletegreat piece!
My lungs stopped breathing as I read this. It was pure angst! I want more.
ReplyDeleteOkay, this was awesome!! Amazing piece here - caught me up from the first word & didn't let go.
ReplyDeleteI really want more. I want to know what she is supposed to destroy!
ReplyDeleteStill amazing every time I read this! You're so good with those descriptive words.
ReplyDeletePaint me green :)
Ooh, good job! I want to hear more. :)
ReplyDeleteUncontrollable is an apt name. This has to be totally confusing for Eri! I hope that is what you were going for because that is what I got :) Great job!!
ReplyDeleteThis was excellent. I could feel an animalistic tension surging through this piece, as the character fights agaisnt what's inside.
ReplyDeleteThanks for sharing.
This was great. I felt her confusion, and the uncontrollable urge to move forward. Very well written.
ReplyDeleteI want to know what happens next! I'm on the edge of my seat. Great job!
ReplyDeleteWhoa! Talk about a teaser! Some reeeeally great stuff in there, Hope. It's a good thing you're a writer *winks*
ReplyDeleteAh!!! Your first words!!! This is frickin' awesome Hope! Wow!
ReplyDeleteI love this every time I read it. Great Job!
ReplyDeleteThank you everybody! And thank you Cassie and Angela for the challenge. It was fun taking my beginning from past tense to present and making it more emotional :)
ReplyDeleteWow! That gave me chills!
ReplyDeleteThere was a lot of confusion and adrenaline there, and you left us with a cliff hanger! It was a good read.
ReplyDeleteI like way she didn't understand why she was running. It was like her emotions and her thoughts were separated.
ReplyDelete